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请看这么一道题及其结尾:
V104 Wild animals have no place in the 21st century. Some people think that preventing these wild animals from dying out is a waste of resource. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
结尾1:
Someone said safeguard of wild animals is a waste of resource, but I do not agree. It seems we would spend some time, wealth and manpower on this meaningless thing. Actually we also do this for human being ourselves. let’s protect wild animals right now.
评:结尾第一句话,是对于考官给出的观点的转述,应放在文章开头就出现。结尾不是申明中心句,而应是对全文观点的总结。大作文要收的坚定有力,seems让文章显得说服力不足,meaningless跟全文观点相孛。最后一句有喊口号的意味,不符合英语议论文的习惯,同样的意思可改换客观平实的文风收尾。
结尾2:
To sum up, we can not live without wild animals due to their profound effects on us. For this reason, we should try our best to protect them. Let’s remember one thing---- protecting wild animals is equivalent to protecting ourselves.
评:双重否定表示强调,是英语议论文的常见手法,令结尾收的坚定有力。Profound effects深远影响很好地呼应了文中提到过的野生动物保护的意义,令文章浑然一体。作者的观点跟结尾1作者观点完全一样,但采用了平实的陈述口气,并用了书面的地道词汇,equivalent to ,是一个很不错的结尾。
结尾3:
Certainly, our diet cannot be without meat. There are living stocks, which can provide us with sufficient and nutritious produce. Therefore, we need not to resort to wild animals, especially the endangered ones. To protect animals is to protect our living environment. Every individual should join efforts to keep the diversity of animals.
评:作者不仅会用否定句表达强调,还很及时地采用了让步式的收尾,指出,人当然要吃肉,但有众多家畜,不必杀戮野生动物,尤其是濒危的物种。让步式结尾让文章显的客观公正,符合英语议论文的要求和习惯,总体很有说服力。再加上语言上同样成功,地道的措辞,如,living stocks, sufficient and nutritious, resort to (诉诸于),endangered ones, join efforts, diversity 是一篇8分作文的经典结尾。
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