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雅思写作范文及赏析:健康管理的益处

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2016-07-14 10:04

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【 liuxue86.com - 雅思作文 】

  在雅思写作中,大部分同学词不达意都是因为阅读经验不够多,让我们先来看看这些高分范文是怎么写的吧!

  雅思写作范文及赏析:健康管理的益处

  【健康类】:

  Staying healthy by playing sports and eating well should be an individual’s duty to society rather than a habit for personal benefits. Do you agree or disagree? 保持健康是个人对于社会的责任,但是,不是使个人受益的良好习惯,是否认同?

  相关提问:

  【健康类】:

  1. Some people believe that the government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, while others believe it is individuals’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 有人认为政府有责任保障人们的健康饮食,有人认为健康饮食是个人的责任,讨论两种观点,给出你的意见。

  2. Some people believe that improving public health should increase the number of sports facilities. But others believe that it has little effects and needs other measures should be taken. Discuss both views and give your own opinion 有人认为提高公众健康应该提高体育设施的数量,有人这种做法效果有限,应该采取其他方式,讨论两种观点,给出你的意见。(2009年2月28日)

  【头脑风暴导言】:

  失去你,拥有世界又如何,这个你,就是我们每人的健康管理。每天运动一小时,健康工作50年,幸福生活一辈子,这才是我们值得秉承的人生格言。

  个人保持健康,提高工作效率,创造社会财富,减少消耗社会医疗资源,因此,这是履行社会责任。

  赢的五个偏帮部首为: 亡、口、月、贝、凡。月字指的就是我们的健康管理,健康,使人精力充沛地应对学业、事业的挑战,乐观地实现家庭的和谐。财富不能保障健康,健康却可以创造财富。身心健康,家人无忧,生活快乐,因此,保持使人人受益,是应该培养并坚持的良好习惯。

  【文章布局】:

  首段:背景介绍 + 争议焦点 + 作家立场

  二段:让步原题观点的合理性

  三段:反驳原题观点之不合理

  尾段:再次亮明观点 +(总结理由)

  【作家立场】: 保持健康是个人和政府的责任,但是,个人应该承担更多的责任。

  【思路拓展】:

  为何保持健康是履行社会责任:

  ① 保持身体健康是个人履行社会责任的体现,因为这减少了对于国家医疗资源的消耗,国家就有财政预算解决其他民生问题。

  ② 如果个人的健康没有保障,难以胜任工作挑战,亦无法为社会发展做出应有贡献。相反,健康的公民可以创造社会财富,为国家发展注入新鲜活力。因此,是个人社会责任的体现。

  为何保持健康是良好的个人习惯:

  ① 对于个人的利好:增强自信,减少忧虑,培养乐观人生态度。健康者通常为热爱运动者,通过运动可结实好友,这就意味着快乐源泉之增加。

  ② 对于家庭的利好:可以想象,个人健康状况令人担忧,家人必然痛苦和担忧(例如企业家和文体明星),因此,个人健康可以使人乐观地实现家庭的和谐。

  ③ 对于事业、学业的利好:个人健康可以提高学习和工作效率,使人精力充沛地应对事业的挑战。

  【语料库】:

  1. keep fit = remain healthy = stay healthy v 保持健康

  2. have a reasonable health management v 有良好的健康管理

  3. …… can instill confidence into one’s heart = build up one’s self-confidence v ……可以增强人的自信

  4. strengthens one’s immune system v增强人的免疫系统

  5. enhance one’s health index v提高人的健康指数

  6. Happiness lies,first of all,in health 健康是幸福人生的本源。

  7. If citizens can strengthening physical exercise and keep a wholesome dietary habit, then their perfect health index can be maintained. In this sense, it will greatly diminish the consumption of social health medical resources. 如果公民可以加强体育锻炼,保持健康饮食,他们可以保持良好的健康指数。从这个意义上讲,这会减少社会医疗资源的消耗。

  8. Keeping fit is indispensable factor for improving people’s quality of life 保持健康对于提高人们的生活质量而言,是不可缺少的因素。

  9. It is unshakable duty of every individual to embark on a healthier lifestyle v开始健康的生活方式, 是人人不可推卸的责任。

  10. Health makes one brave career challenges energetically and harmonize family life optimistically. 健康使人经历充沛地应对事业的挑战,乐观地实现家庭和和谐。

  【范文赏析】:

  {首段}:背景介绍 + 争议焦点 + 作家立场

  Health is to every individual what perfume is to flowers. However, people have been pondering, for many years, the significance of maintaining personal health without reaching any definite consensus. A popular belief is that personal health only serves the good of the community. As I see it,optimizing personal health could not only benefit the society,but importantly,conduce to individual life, family harmony and career prosperity.

  【解析】:

  1. Health is to every individual what perfume is to flowers. 健康对于每个人,如同花香对于花朵。

  2. a popular belief is that ……一种流行的观点就是……

  3. optimizing personal health v 完善个人健康

  4. conduce to individual life, family harmony and career prosperity v有助于个人生活,家庭和睦,事业辉煌

  {二段}:为何保持健康是尽到了社会责任

  Indeed, I have to concede that keeping fit could be of great benefits for a nation and therefore be deemed as the personal obligation to the community. In other words, As for the country,the increased proportion of wholesome citizens could greatly diminish the consumption in terms of the public medical treatment. Also, health indicates good mentality and vigorous physique. It is conceivable that the increase of healthy social citizens can help create immense social value and thus inject new vitality into the further prosperity of a nation.

  【解析】:

  1. could be of great benefits for a nation v对于国家有利好

  2. The increased proportion of wholesome citizens could greatly diminish the consumption in terms of the public medical treatment. 健康公民的增加会减少社会公共医疗的消耗。

  3. Health indicates good mentality and vigorous physique. 健康意味着健良好的心态和充沛的体能。

  4. create immense social value and thus inject new vitality into the further development of a nation v 创造巨大的价值,为国家的发展注入新鲜活力。

  {三段}:为何保持健康对于个人有利好

  Nevertheless,every individual could become the beneficiary of keeping fit too. First, a man with sound physique and mentality succeed better at work,respond better to stress, suffer less depressive mood and achieve more personal goals. Secondly, health could, to a large extent, enable one to brave career enthusiastically and harmonize family optimistically. For example, many entrepreneurs or super stars usually suffer from various health-related problems due to excessive workload and huge mental pressure. It is conceivable that one’s poor health condition will inevitably bring a sea of agonies to the family members. Last, remaining health enables one to regenerate energy, refresh mind and thus improve the efficiency of work and study.

  【解析】:

  1. Every individual could become the beneficiary of …… 人人都可以成为……的受益者

  2. A man with sound physique and mentality people succeed better at work,respond better to stress, suffer less depressive mood and achieve more personal goals. 身心健康者工作更有成效,积极应对压力,较少沮丧,可以实现更多个人目标。

  3. …… enable one to brave career enthusiastically and harmonize family optimistically. …… 使人精力充沛地应对事业的挑战,以及乐观地实现家庭的和谐。

  4. …… will inevitably bring a sea of agonies to the family members …… 不可避免地给健康带来巨大的痛苦

  5. Remaining health enables one to regenerate energy, refresh mind and thus improve the efficiency of work and study. 保持健康使人恢复体能,清醒头脑,因此,提高工作和学习的效率。

  尾段:再次亮明观点:

  In closing, I re-affirm my conviction that keeping fit is not only related to social responsibility but also links to personal happiness, which is more significant. Therefore, embarking on a healthier lifestyle should a lifelong habit for every one of us.

  【解析】:

  1. Keeping fit is not only related to social responsibility but also links to personal happiness, which is more significant. 保持健康,不仅仅是和社会责任相关,同时,于个人幸福相关,而后者,意义更加重要。

  2. Embarking on a healthier lifestyle should a lifelong habit for every one of us. 培养健康的生活方式应该每个人应该坚持的终生的习惯。

  【全文点评】:

  本篇个性开篇,主题明确、逻辑清晰、细节饱满、词汇丰富、句型简洁,符合雅思写作评分标准,可为考生研读赏析之佳作,建议童鞋打造属于自己的原创范文。

  雅思作文栏目推荐阅读:

  雅思写作高分经验

  2016年雅诗报名时间

  雅思零基础如何备考雅思

  2016年雅思口语预定时间

  2016雅思考试时间安排表

  2016全国各地雅思考点汇总

  雅思写作:饼图的解题攻略

  雅思写作中的审题误区解析

  想了解更多雅思作文网的资讯,请访问: 雅思作文

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