出国留学网

目录

雅思作文常见四个错误解析

【 liuxue86.com - 雅思作文 】

  雅思想拿高分,就要避免这些常见的错误。下面是出国留学网为大家整理的雅思作文常见四个错误解析,希望有所帮助。预祝大家在雅思考试中取得满意的成绩!

  雅思作文常见四个错误解析

  大家现在所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2,同其他考官范文不同,这篇文章出自考生之手。具体这篇考生的作文得了几分咱们先卖个关子,假如你是雅思考官,按照写作评分的四大项标准, 你会给他打几分呢?

  The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.


  In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985

  Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.

  我们先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。

  首先从文章的内容上来看,考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化,但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car,local bus 及 long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的,先描写也毋庸置疑,但local bus 和 long distance bus,变化数据设计不多,同时变化趋势也不相同,放在一起描述没有意义。其次,此文没有描述表格中的总量这一数据,这也是其失分的原因。

  再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位,考生的作文中带的是people, 但仔细审题后我们会发现,这篇作文的真正单位实际是miles,通篇文章对单位的理解都是错误的。

  接下来我们来看结构,通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子,但两段的绝对没有。同时,文章开篇直接就描述了最大数据,缺少了开头段的引入,结尾段也并不是考官所期望看到的总结性信息。

  不过从词汇角度来看, 文章代词及连词使用较好。

  a. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. Its指代long distance bus ride。

  b. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.

  c. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。

  从语法角度来看,文章细小问题较多。

  a. 时态: 数据变化时间为1985-2000, 为一般过去, 考生采用的为一般现在。

  b. 主谓一致: However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数, 谓语动词单数, 主谓不一致。

  c. 名词单复数: There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。

  d. 被动语态: as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。

  这样的作文究竟可以得几分呢,我们来看下考官评语,实际同我们刚刚分析时给出的关键点是一致的。

  This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

  This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.

  Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.

  The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.

  当然我们分析这篇考生习作的最终目的不是想告诉大家6分的作文错误百出,于思靓老师是希望同学们可以取长补短,像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题,如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要避免出现,像考官特别看重的他的句子多样性的运用要多加学习。最后期待大家能拿到理想的分数。

  雅思作文栏目推荐阅读:

  雅思写作高分经验

  2016年雅诗报名时间

  雅思零基础如何备考雅思

  2016年雅思口语预定时间

  2016雅思考试时间安排表

  2016全国各地雅思考点汇总

  雅思写作:饼图的解题攻略

  雅思写作中的审题误区解析

  想了解更多雅思作文网的资讯,请访问: 雅思作文

本文来源:https://ielts.liuxue86.com/i/2902879.html
延伸阅读
雅思大作文备考,主要是掌握写作的技巧和策略,针对性的弥补自己的写作短板,这样才能有效的提升成绩,那么接下来就和出国留学网的小编来看看雅思考试大作文写作类型一览表。雅思大作文写作一共
2020-07-17
文化类的雅思写作题目在雅思写作中经常遇到的题材,哪些话题出现的频率比较高呢?那么接下来就和出国留学网一起来看看2020年雅思写作热门话题分析。热门话题作为雅思写作的一个重要话题,文
2020-07-03
对于雅思写作来说,最重要的就是词汇的了解以及运用,并且掌握一定的模板技巧。那么接下来就和出国留学网来看看2020年雅思考试高分写作模板一览表。作文模板开头段:(本开头参考为主,下面
2020-06-16
对于想考雅思的同学来说,肯定已经积累了很多词组,但是有些词组不仅不加分,反而拉分你知道吗?今天就和出国留学网的小编一起来看看雅思写作考试这些词汇要慎用。慎用词汇1.alotof/l
2020-06-05
对于雅思大作文写作,我相信很多同学都有自己的一套,但是了解雅思大作文如何搭建框架对于雅思写作考试大也是非常有帮助的,下面就和出国留学网来看看雅思写作考试框架怎么搭建?写作框架通常来
2020-05-25
对于雅思写作来说,不知道同学们是如何备考的?平时可以多多练习,但是也要对于雅思写作的误区有一些了解哦,那么下面就和出国留学网看看雅思写作千万不能犯的错误。雅思写作误区1:能写多少写
2020-02-27
审题在雅思写作中是非常重要的,甚至关系到雅思写作的的成绩,那么接下来就和出国留学网一起来看看雅思写作考试中哪些错误不能犯?一、题干主次不分众所周知,一个完整的雅思大作文考题,一般是
2019-06-24
审题在雅思写作中是非常重要的,甚至关系到雅思写作的的成绩,那么接下来就和出国留学网一起来看看雅思写作考试中这些错误千万不能犯。常见错误一、题干主次不分众所周知,一个完整的雅思大作文
2019-12-25
雅思写作分数提高离不开平时的练习,那么雅思写作中的常用谚语有哪些呢?这是很多出国人士关心的问题,和出国留学网一起来看看雅思作文常见谚语一览表。1.Wherethereisawill
2019-05-21
分词结构在英语中是应用得比较广的一种语法,那么接下来就和出国留学网一起来看看2020年雅思写作分词结构解析。示例·Livingwithoutanaimislikesailingwi
2019-12-13